This week’s TTT, hosted by The Broke and The Bookish, is a TV-themed freebie. Given that my whole TV-viewing life is basically spent watching My Little Pony with my daughter, I don’t feel qualified to analyse the medium with any authority. One of the suggestions for this week was books which should be adapted for TV, but I’m reversing that; here are the top ten TV characters about whom I want in-depth novels.
Daryl Dixon (The Walking Dead)
I absolutely love TWD and Daryl is, as he is for all sensible people, my favourite character. It’s a crowded show, and as new characters get introduced every seven minutes, there seems to be less and less chance I’m going to get the Daryl backstory I crave, so I want a book about his life before the zombie apocalypse; some background on his relationship with Merle, please, and some intel on his crossbow training programme. Also, although I haven’t read the comics, I am pretty sure Daryl isn’t in them, so what I want doesn’t already exist.
Ben Wyatt (Parks and Recreation)
Despite his sensible demeanour in Parks and Rec, at the age of 18, Ben was elected mayor of his hometown of Patridge, Minnesota and caused an economic crisis. It’s a running joke in the show, and one in which I am sufficiently interested to want to madcap YA novel about teenage Ben and his crazy political antics.
Eleven (Stranger Things)
I’ll assume not everyone has watched Stranger Things yet (in which case, why the hell are you messing about reading this? Go and switch on Netflix!) so I’ll keep this vague, but Eleven is a seriously fascinating character and I want more. She’d be perfect as the MC in a creepy YA fantasy novel.
Sam Seaborn (The West Wing)
Sigh. Sam Seaborn is my number one TV character crush of all time. The idealism. The clean white shirts. The perfect hair. So dreamy. Anyway, he left at the end of season 4 (I think) and then returned for the final episode, with a frankly disappointing lack of explanation for what he’d been doing out in California. I need more Sam.
Poor Gunther, with his eternally unrequited love for Rachel. Let’s have a slightly-creepy novel based on Gunther’s secret diary, perhaps with some bad acrostic poetry (as opposed to all that really good acrostic poetry you read all the time) and stick-drawings of his and Rachel’s never-going-to-happen wedding. Maybe a five point plan for getting rid of Ross which, I’m sure you will agree, would have done everyone a favour anyway.
Seth Cohen (The O.C.)
Who wouldn’t want to read an “autobiographical” graphic novel about the awkward life of Seth Cohen and his trusty steed, Captain Oates? It could be totally meta and even be included in the Seth Cohen starter pack with which he presents both his mother and two prospective girlfriends. Yes, I know a lot about The O.C. In my defence, it’s because my husband loves it and has made me watch the whole thing about four times.
Everyone from Orange is the New Black
Obviously, OITNB is one of the greatest TV shows of all time. Most of the Litchfield inmates have been shown in their former lives through flashbacks, but I always find these tantalisingly incomplete. I want more Nicky, and Flaca, and Red, and Sofia. Perhaps a collection of short stories, with one on each character? Thanks.
Sean Hocknell (Dream Team)
In the early 2000s, Dream Team was a barely credible Sky One drama about a football team called Harchester United. People got shot all the time, and had loads of affairs, and everyone was always going to prison; it was basically like a documentary about Chelsea but with purple shirts. My favourite character, Sean Hocknell, was abruptly killed off between seasons in a plane crash, but I never quite gave up on the writers bringing him back. Then I had to, because Dream Team ended. I am guessing everyone was dead or in prison. Anyway, I want a novel about Sean Hocknell surviving, perhaps in a Tom Hanks in Castaway fashion, talking to a football. I am sure I would be the only person who would read it, but I am worth it.
Selena Meyer (Veep)
I completely and utterly love Veep and Selena. She’s so awful and yet so fabulous and I basically want to be her. My Selena novel would be an ‘autobiography’ (inverted commas because, obviously, she’s not real, covering her ascent to the giddy heights of the White House. I imagine it would be a bit like one of Hillary Clinton’s books, but bitchier, and I am on board with that.
Don Draper (Mad Men)
I’ll confess that I watched the first season of Mad Men and, although I thought it was brilliant, I have never returned to watch the rest. I have too many books to read, okay? So if someone could just turn the whole thing into an epic New York novel so I could just read that instead, I’d be super grateful.
Any suggestions for other characters who need their own novel? I am mainly proud that I didn’t have to resort to My Little Pony characters for this list (although, since you asked, I want a book about Maud Pie, because she is an emo legend).