This week’s theme for Top Ten Tuesday, hosted as always by The Broke and The Bookish is Top Ten Resolutions We Have For 2016. I started writing something really sensible, featuring loads of earnest resolutions about reading Portuguese poetry and keeping a reading journal, but then I realised that was really boring, so I decided to slightly adapt this weeks title to Top Ten Resolutions for YA Fictional Characters in 2016. It is, admittedly, not the catchiest title, but I feel many of these misguided teens would benefit greatly from my sage advice and, if only they had me to mentor them, they wouldn’t get in so much trouble in the first place.
For Q from Paper Towns (John Green): in 2016, develop better taste in girls. Perhaps pursue a girl who doesn’t fit into the ‘manic pixie girl’ category, or who at least likes poets that people actually understand.
For Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows (Leigh Bardugo): learn to trust people. Let them in. Perhaps write ‘sometimes people are not trying to kill me’ on Post-Its and stick them around your house.
For Kell and Lila from A Darker Shade of Magic (V.E. Schwab): if someone is clearly a maniacal magician who wants to kill you, resist the urge to piss them off. This could prove to be a very useful resolution in your soon-to-be-published next adventure, A Gathering of Shadows.
For June from Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls (Lynn Weingarten): accept that you are a truly appalling judge of character. Seek out a responsible adult to make all your decisions for you. Stop going through people’s rubbish.
For Clay from Thirteen Reasons Why (Jay Asher): it is the 21st century. If cassette tapes mysteriously appear with your name on, assume the worst and destroy them. Perhaps embrace iTunes instead. Much less traumatic.
For Mikey from The Rest of Us Just Live Here (Patrick Ness): when people tell you they love you and want you around, try to believe them. They aren’t lying.
For Simon from Simon Vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda (Becky Albertalli): alway log out of your email account.
For Alina from Shadow and Bone/Amy from Dorothy Must Die/Mare from Red Queen: having recently discovered you have magic powers, it would probably be advisable to occasionally listen to the people trying to teach you how to use them. Make notes, maybe. Practise for 10 minutes a day. Take time out from your busy schedule of plotting revolutions to better yourself.
For Amanda from Daughters Unto Devils (Amy Lukavics): if something looks cursed and smells cursed, it’s probably cursed. Run.
For Simon and Baz from Carry On (Rainbow Rowell): stay beautiful.